the NATURAL instinctive State of Mind

Happy 

sad 

angry 

confused

frustrated 

ecstatic 

loved 

embarrassed 

bored

surprised 

tired 

afraid 

jealous
proud 
grumpy

HUNGRY

funny 

nervous

 

      

Lately I've been encountering EMOTIONS!  

KATY PERRY explained my situation clearly,

"You change your mind

Like a girl changes clothes

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in then you're out

You're up then you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up"

This is the exact scenario that I've been going though with my 

DAUGHTER.  

I love her, and like my last blog said she's nearly 2 years old, she's a little over a year and a half.  

But I've been going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth with her and my emotions. 

 I feel like she's a teenager trapped in a 1 1/2 year old girl.  

Sometimes I argue with her

Sometimes I fall into her traps

Sometimes I give into her

Sometimes I feel bad for her

Sometimes I blame myself
Sometimes I blame her
Sometimes I blame other people

Sometimes I just don't know what to do with her behavior.  

I constantly go through power struggles with her

She tells me NO!  

She plays with herself

She cries for tripping

She cries for things she wants

She cries for me

She uses her words to tell me what she wants

She throws her toys 

She kisses

She hugs

She grabs the things she wants

She grabs books off the shelf and throws them

She hits and throws punches

She wines and moans

But majority of the time I love her and she loves me.  

We enjoy each other.  

So what do I do with all of these emotions that hit me, but most of all hits my daughter?!

1.  Well in my day care I learned that CONSISTENCY is a necessity.  When you, as the parent or teacher, encounter a melt down from a toddler, encounter a power struggle from a toddler, or encounter a "NO!" please remember the rules you have set.  Follow through with the rule you set. 

Now this will not come easy-->  hence the fact that there needs to be consistency with each struggle, even if the struggle comes within seconds of each other.  

DONT GIVE IN [and I know that that's easier said then done].  

Please please please please please please please please please 

Try! 

If you don't try, if you keep on giving in........ Your toddler will have you wrapped around their finger.  

But I do have a slight trick.  I got into these struggles all week, in each struggle I kept to the rules I set but my daughter kept coming back with NO's and other comments.

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But I blind sided her-->

I opened my arms to her, 

I told her to give me a hug please, 

I hugged her tight, 

I held her in my arms looking in her eyes, 

and I said "I still love you, it's okay."  

At times I added "we're still learning," and at other times I had to explain to her in simple terms why I needed her to do things and why I felt a certain way about the things she was doing.  Being honest about my thoughts and feelings to her gave her a better understanding.

I view her as a CAPABLE child, she's capable of understanding the things that I say.

I try to "guide" her situations instead of using my body to hurt her and instead of saying words that were cruel and mean.  I used my words to explain to her the situation so that she understood the matter at hand.  I know that she understands, and with consistency these rules will be instilled within her.  I've done it and I've seen it with her.    

2.  I also learned from my day care to help the children label and understand their EMOTIONS.  

When situations occurred I would "guide" children by labeling their feelings.  

These are instances where I would label feelings 

"It looks like your mad, I'm looking at your face and you are not smiling, your eyes are teary, your face is a little scrunched, you look mad, what could I do to help you?"   

"I notice that you are throwing your toys, I'm looking at your face and it looks mad, so I will hold the toy and give you some time to calm down because I don't want you to get hurt, and I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Oh, you slipped, was it scary?  You look like you were frightened."

Not only have I labeled the child's feelings I also labeled my feelings and my concerns.

-->By labeling their feelings, children are more able to differentiate and understand the various feelings they have.  

-->By labeling and expressing my thoughts and feelings, children will gain a positive perspective as to how situations should be handled, therefore changing the way they choose to handle situation, and they will also gain a deeper understanding of emotions, that everyone has emotions and everyones emotions should be considered. 

By CONSTANTLY labeling they would be more able to control their emotions and display emotions that they feel are wanted by those around them. 

I know this was a long entry, but please remember consistency, remember to describe your feelings as well, and label expressions so that your child can better control their emotions. 

YOU can do it!!

DONT GIVE UP.  

your baby LOVES you and you LOVE your baby

Yes this is a hectic roller coaster but you will be happy with the relationship that you and your child has in the end.

By:  Jadelynn Davis Mapuhi

Updated: Sunday, March 2, 2014

9:28 pm

YOU FORGOT!!!

Sometimes people forget.

"Lyna's nearly two years old; she's exactly 21 months old!"  -try to remember this

This past weekend we've encountered relatives during our annual Chinese New Years celebration, my grandma just visited with us, my mom came home from Molokai, and all of my siblings were together as we prepared for the Great Aloha Run.

Through these events I've encountered memorable moments and I've also been encountering instances where people close to me have been unknowingly putting down my daughter Lyna.

My grandma, who stayed with us, encountered a moment where Lyna was eating and she sporadically threw a piece of her banana onto the ground.  My grandma said, "Huh, you NAUGHTY.  You NAUGHTY girl.  You know what naughty means?  Oh you NAUGHTY!" 

 Earlier Lyna was lying on the bed with my dad, she was playing with her toy trains, and out of no where she threw her train on her ground.  Lyna threw another train, my dad yelled "Hey, Stop that!"  Lyna was about to throw another toy when my dad picked up the whole container of her trains and threw it on the ground, Lyna cried, and my dad said, "get out, get out I don't want any spoiled brats in here!"  

During the GAR my sister picked Lyna up, held her tight, and demanded Lyna to give her a kiss.   Lyna screamed "NO!" And my sister in a joking voice said "give me a kiss now, I'm not gonna let you go!"  Lyna continued to scream "mommy, mommy!!" While trying to get out of my sisters arms.

I love my family so much, but in all these instances Lyna was being put down and scolded by the very people who say they love her the most.  Now, she doesn't encounter these issues constantly, but she does go through these issues, with and sometimes without me.

As her mother, and as her main parent, I have to stand up for her.  I know that these family members and relatives are older then me, and I was taught to not speak back to my elders, but I am my daughters voice.  Lyna doesn't know any better she's only 21 months old.  Months, not even 2 years old yet.   

My family, relatives, and those closest to Lyna FORGOT!!  

They Forgot...

She hasn't been on this earth for two years yet.  

Yes, she talks, she walks, she express her wants and needs, she cries, she throws fits, she yells, she screams, she hugs, she loves, but SHE IS STILL NEW TO THIS EARTH.  

She is still learning, 

she is still discovering,

she is still figuring out what is the meaning of things

she is still trying to understand

she is still exploring, 

she's still figuring out what she doesn't like, 

there are a "bajillion" more possibilities that she will encounter in the upcoming seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years of her life.

She only came out of my stomach 21 months ago.  Though she has accumulated much knowledge within the 21 months she has been on this earth, she still has to gain a "bizillion" more understandings of the world around her.  

Lyna knows many things, and I am very proud of her, but she is still trying to understand the world around her.  

I know that you (readers) will encounter instances, or have encountered instances like mines, whether it's exactly similar or you can relate,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 

Remember that you are your child's voice.  Your child is so new to this world that they truly don't know any better then you may think.  You need to advocate for your child. 

Don't let your child, your own flesh and blood, your prized jewls, your brightly shined diamonds, undergo 
beating, 

torment, 

humiliation, 

pain, 

stress, 

or abuse in any form.  

Lyna was not physically abused, but she was scolded, humiliated, frustrated, and she was stressed out from the verbal yelling that was directed at her.  

Now, I don't have the exact answer as to how you should guide your child through misbehaviors and unwanted situations, but I would suggest to not FORGET! 

Love your precocious child even through the hard times, love your child  through the most stressful time of the day, hug and kiss your child even when they and you may not want to, and tell your child "I LOVE YOU!"

Updated:  Thursday, February 20, 2014

By -->  Jadelynn Davis Mapuhi

From a BABY to a TODDLER

November of 2013 -->  My daughter Lyna is exactly eighteen months in this video. 

She's walking, she's talking, she's exploring, she marvels at the wonders around her, she's fascinated, and SHE'S LEARNING!

At this time i was skeptical about accepting the fact that my daughter was officially turning into a toddler.  The signs were perfectly clear as they were pointing to the fact that she was a "TODDLER."  But i stayed in denial.  

I didn't want my precious baby girl to grow up.  

I don't want to accept the fact that she is not a baby anymore.  

I don't want to come to the realization that this child of mines who was once 7 lbs 5 ounces, who was once in my stomach for nine months, and this child who once fit in my arms so perfectly had changed so dramatically into a well rounded Toddler.    

Well I have to break it to EVERYONE!!  

Lyna is a toddler whether or not I want to accept the fact or not.  

She's past the rug rat stage, she's a waddler and preparing to be an expert walker.  

Lyna is past the babbling stage, she's a converser, and she's continuously building her vocabulary.  

Her brain has grew tremendously from when she was born.  

Her body has miraculously grown in weight, size, and built.  

Some of her development proposed by the HELDS continuum were past here developmental stage 

(Click the link)

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Child's Development

All of these signs have pointed to the doubting fact that lyna is a toddler... Wahhhhh!!!   And since she is a "toddler" there are many situations, obstacles, experiences, and moments that I will encounter that I know for sure I cannot possibly do alone.

I hope that by sharing my experiences, obstacles, situations, and moments that I encounter with my daughter Lyna and 

also with the toddlers that I teach, it will help you [readers] gain a different perspective, develop an easier time with your toddler, and I hope that this will help you [reader] shine through your own personal journey with your toddler.  I also hope that  the LOVE and APPRECIATION I have for children will touch and change your hearts so that you will one day love and appreciate your own child(ren).    

Please enjoy my blogs and I enjoy L<3ve.

Until next time

ALOHA, 

Jadelynn Davis Mapuhi

Updated:   Sunday, February 16, 2014

12:27 am