Happy
proud
grumpy
sad
angry
confused
frustrated
ecstatic
loved
embarrassed
bored
surprised
tired
afraid
jealousproud
grumpy
HUNGRY
funny
nervous
Lately I've been encountering EMOTIONS!
KATY PERRY explained my situation clearly,
"You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up"
This is the exact scenario that I've been going though with my
DAUGHTER.
I love her, and like my last blog said she's nearly 2 years old, she's a little over a year and a half.
But I've been going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth with her and my emotions.
I feel like she's a teenager trapped in a 1 1/2 year old girl.
Sometimes I argue with her
Sometimes I fall into her traps
Sometimes I give into her
Sometimes I feel bad for her
Sometimes I blame myself
Sometimes I blame her
Sometimes I blame other people
Sometimes I blame her
Sometimes I blame other people
Sometimes I just don't know what to do with her behavior.
I constantly go through power struggles with her
She tells me NO!
She plays with herself
She cries for tripping
She cries for things she wants
She cries for me
She uses her words to tell me what she wants
She throws her toys
She kisses
She hugs
She grabs the things she wants
She grabs books off the shelf and throws them
She hits and throws punches
She wines and moans
But majority of the time I love her and she loves me.
We enjoy each other.
So what do I do with all of these emotions that hit me, but most of all hits my daughter?!
1. Well in my day care I learned that CONSISTENCY is a necessity. When you, as the parent or teacher, encounter a melt down from a toddler, encounter a power struggle from a toddler, or encounter a "NO!" please remember the rules you have set. Follow through with the rule you set.
Now this will not come easy--> hence the fact that there needs to be consistency with each struggle, even if the struggle comes within seconds of each other.
DONT GIVE IN [and I know that that's easier said then done].
Please please please please please please please please please
Try!
If you don't try, if you keep on giving in........ Your toddler will have you wrapped around their finger.
But I do have a slight trick. I got into these struggles all week, in each struggle I kept to the rules I set but my daughter kept coming back with NO's and other comments.
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V
But I blind sided her-->
I try to "guide" her situations instead of using my body to hurt her and instead of saying words that were cruel and mean. I used my words to explain to her the situation so that she understood the matter at hand. I know that she understands, and with consistency these rules will be instilled within her. I've done it and I've seen it with her.
I opened my arms to her,
I told her to give me a hug please,
I hugged her tight,
I held her in my arms looking in her eyes,
and I said "I still love you, it's okay."
At times I added "we're still learning," and at other times I had to explain to her in simple terms why I needed her to do things and why I felt a certain way about the things she was doing. Being honest about my thoughts and feelings to her gave her a better understanding.
I view her as a CAPABLE child, she's capable of understanding the things that I say.
2. I also learned from my day care to help the children label and understand their EMOTIONS.
When situations occurred I would "guide" children by labeling their feelings.
These are instances where I would label feelings
"It looks like your mad, I'm looking at your face and you are not smiling, your eyes are teary, your face is a little scrunched, you look mad, what could I do to help you?"
"I notice that you are throwing your toys, I'm looking at your face and it looks mad, so I will hold the toy and give you some time to calm down because I don't want you to get hurt, and I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want anyone to get hurt."
"Oh, you slipped, was it scary? You look like you were frightened."
"Oh, you slipped, was it scary? You look like you were frightened."
Not only have I labeled the child's feelings I also labeled my feelings and my concerns.
-->By labeling their feelings, children are more able to differentiate and understand the various feelings they have.
-->By labeling and expressing my thoughts and feelings, children will gain a positive perspective as to how situations should be handled, therefore changing the way they choose to handle situation, and they will also gain a deeper understanding of emotions, that everyone has emotions and everyones emotions should be considered.
By CONSTANTLY labeling they would be more able to control their emotions and display emotions that they feel are wanted by those around them.
I know this was a long entry, but please remember consistency, remember to describe your feelings as well, and label expressions so that your child can better control their emotions.
YOU can do it!!
DONT GIVE UP.
your baby LOVES you and you LOVE your baby
Yes this is a hectic roller coaster but you will be happy with the relationship that you and your child has in the end.
By: Jadelynn Davis Mapuhi
Updated: Sunday, March 2, 2014
9:28 pm
