Why did I do it?

This post is just food for thought.  If you plan on placing your child in preschool or you need suggestions for continuing your child in preschool, here are my thoughts.  As this semester is ending, at my work place, the questionnaires have been sent out for "returning or not."  

I have many friends who have children, ranging from an infant to the preschool age, who stay at home and care for their children.  As for me, since Lyna was three months old, and school for me began in the Fall, I placed Lyna in preschool.

**I decide to use preschool instead of daycare of childcare, because the school that I placed Lyna in did more then just care for her, the program provided opportunites for development, growth and nurturance as well as quality care in addition to care itself.

So why make a post about staying at home or going to school?

Well that's not the case, in my opinion.  I could have stayed at home and be a mom like my friends, I could have taken online classes, or I could have chosen to work somewhere near my home and place the care of my child in the hands of relatives.

My decision to place Lyna in preschool was influenced from my education in Early Childhood Education, from my religious values, and from my personal views.  Being an Early Childhood Educator I knew of the benefits of placing my child in preschool at an early age.

She will gain social experiences, she would be amongst 

quality educators who will give her the attention she needs 

and who will give her the necessities and experiences needed to develop,

and her growth will be influenced by children around her.

Knowing what I knew about Preschool for my child, people who surrounded me did not support my decision from the start.  My parents thought that driving to town each day just to take Lyna to preschool would be a waste of money and it will add stress to the already hectic schedule of school that I had.  Since Lyna was a new born and the first grandchild on both sides of the family, she was wanted by many relatives, and those relatives too did not support me placing Lyna in school.  Plus there were the views of, "why place your child in daycare when she can be watched right here?"  There was also those views of, "She's to young to go to daycare."  My husband was supportive in my want to place Lyna in preschool, but we would argue and disagree constantly about financial obligations of placing Lyna in preschool.  My friends were a high influence in my not placing Lyna in preschool because they came at me with "Oh our kids can play together, they will be best friends, plus we can hang out more."  And all of these thoughts got me thinking, well if I placed Lyna in preschool then I wont be able to spend time with her.  If I stay home I can be with her and do what I want.

Well with that said and done, I went with my instincts and disregarded the assumptions of those who surrounded, as well as my own contrasting thoughts, and I placed my daughter in preschool.  As a mother providing for her child, she deserved it.  Regardless of the financial struggle we faced, I did not mind because investing in my child's future is more important then investing in a temporal thing like a car, or a trip.  

All in all, think about your child, what's best for your child?  

I have taken Lyna out of preschool for the remaining of the semester, for various reasons not mentioned, but in particular because I just want to spend time with her before I start my career and she actually becomes of age to attend public school.   I value family time and even though I know how much of an influence school is, I also value the time we have to spend with each other.  

By Jadelynn Davis

May 3, 2014

            

Home is where the heart lies

I have been asked by parents that I work with, "What can I do at home with my kid?"

This question stunned me because there are a million things you can do with your child
So in this post, I will mention a few of my favorite things I like to do at home with Lyna, and some things that I do at school that is homemade.


The number one home activity that I would advocate for, that is convenient, comprises of various learning areas, and is fun == COOKING

**Now I know, you're thinking, ugh cooking?  really?! why????

Well first of all, I love to eat, don't we all?  Its an amazing learning experience for your toddler, and it doesn't need to entail a hot stove.

Things I like to cook with my toddler

Egg Sandwich

I boil the eggs, then cool it off.  But I allow Lyna to peel the egg.  She is so interested in cracking the uncooked eggs in the refrigerator, so this is a cooking activity that she loves.  Also peeling takes time and concentration, which is lovely for me because then I have Lyna focused on a task while I can do some homework next to her.

After peeling the eggs, I would lay out a cutting board, place the egg in a ziplock bag, ill squeeze a little mayo in the bag, and a dash of pepper would go in the bag as well.  I'll zip the bag closed, and I will allow Lyna to smash the egg and ingredients up.

I'll give her one slice of bread.  When she is done smashing, I will cut a corner of the bag, and I will let Lyna squeeze her eggs onto the bread. = Fun, convenient, and easy

Hot Chocolate

Lyna loves to pretend play with her tea set.  So to add to her experience, I would warm up in a microwave for about a minute or so a quarter to a half mug of milk, just so that the milk steams but is bearable to drink.

In this activity you can talk about hot features such as the steam, and temperature.

After the milk is warmed, I allow Lyna to scoop some cocoa powder into the cup and I allow her to stir it up.  Since the milk is not to the top of the cup, the stirring of the milk will not over flow.  I will tell her to blow her Hot cocoa and that she needs to be patient for it to cool down.  

Other cooking activities

Other cooking activities I like to do is make smoothies with the magic bullet, cutting bananas with a butter knife, spread peanut butter and jelly.  I allow Lyna to measure ingredients for a pancake mix.  I let her spread the crust for pizza on the pan.  I cook pizza with Lyna using english muffins.  

Dry pouring with rice

I used a Ziplock container, an old sheet [works for me for easy cleanup because the rice mainly stays on the sheet and when the sheet moves the rice only goes up to the folded corners], and about a cup of rice.
Lyna found the container of rice in our kitchen, and would not leave it alone.  So I made her, her own container of rice to play with.
I added a spoon from the kitchen, and because we have many of them I let her use medicine cups.

Especially in the Toddler stage, children love to

explore and they especially love to dump and pour, 

so this helps with getting her dumping and pouring giggles out.  

In addition to rice you can also create

Dry pouring with dry beans
Dry pouring with pasta noodles of all sorts
         Elbow pasta
         Bow tie pasta
         Penne Pasta
We live near the beach, so bringing a bucket and other tools is convenient 

GOOP

Goop is my favorite.  At school we have trays, but at home I use cookie sheets since its what is convenient for me.
Goop consists of corn starch and water.  There is no certain amount to measure, you can keep adding until you get the consistency you want

In addition to sensory, and messy activities I let Lyna play with
Shaving creme, I prefer the foam bottles, but the gel would work as well [your toddler can watch it change].  Also I prefer the smells of the women's shaving creme compared to mens.  

There are also many homemade play dough recipes online.  [I haven't yet found, or perfected a play dough recipe to my liking]

Bubbles with flyswater 

A cheap, and convenient bubble wand is a flyswater.  I actually prefer a flyswater for toddlers, its easier to use, and I notice that toddlers just like to swat the bubble wands any way, so what better way to play with bubble then with a flyswater.

Puzzles with photos

Instead of buying puzzles, order photos of your child [I prefer Costco photo because its cheap and convenient for me], cut the photo into two to four pieces, I would tape it with clear tape so that there is no damage to the photo itself, and allow your toddler to play with the home made puzzle.  Toddlers love activities that is meaningful to them, which photo puzzles are.

Pretend play

I just went through my closet and cleaned it out.  I had about a bag of clothes, shoes, and bags, that I did not wear or use anymore.  Lyna went through that bag before I could take it to a donation site.  Come to realize that pretend play does not need to "Fit" the toddler.  I did not need to buy Lyna a costume or princess outfit.  She played with the dresses I was going to get rid of and the purses I had in the bag as well.  

Kendama 

In Hawaii, almost every child I see has a Kendama.  So to replicate it and make it possible for toddlers to accomplish the point of the Kendama I took an empty milk carton, but the bottom half off [do not cut the handle off], i tied string to the handle of the milk carton, and I made a string puffed ball on the other end of the string.  There you have a home made Kendama.

I love to shop on Amazon, I am a student prime member so shipping is free for "prime items", and often times "prime items" have amazing sales.
Also I love to shop at Ross for toys compared to Walmart because Ross has marked down toys.  Also I find cheap items I can turn into toys for my daughters interest.

By Jadelynn Davis

May 3, 2014

My toddler throws TANTRUMS

Lately I've been encountering temperaments from Lyna.

She's throwing her crayons on the ground right after she colored, so to speak, an entire book

She tips her water cup on her food and on the ground after she has slowed down eating

She is beginning to throw the rocks outside
She sporadically screams at the top of her lungs
A new things she's beginning to do is put things in her mouth, meaning biting.     

When she is screaming she hits and scratches

So what do I possibly do?

Well to help the situation out, I have gathered some information that will help you out to understand your toddler.
Starting at about 18 months, toddlers are learning that they are separate from their parents, and are eager to act as independently as they can.  But they have limited self-control and have not yet learned to wait, share, and take turns.  And while they are learning more words everyday, they still rely heavily on their actions to communicate.  When they are angry, frustrated, tired, or overwhelmed, they may hit, push, slap, grab, kick, or bite to tell you, "IM MAD!" or "IM EXHAUSTED!" or "IM OVER MY LIMIT AND NEED A BREAK!"  
Coping with Aggression and Teaching Self-Control in the Early Years.  Zero to Three 2009.  http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/challenging-behavior/coping-with-aggression-one-page-handout.pdf

Stay Calm

Staying calm is easier said then done, especially when you are dealing with screaming, feisty, mad, aggressive child.

Sometimes in order for me to be calm, i need to walk away from Lyna, at whatever means--meaning whether she is screaming, banging her head, jumping up and down, and so on.  I place in her in our room [a safe area], I close the door, and take a moment for myself to gather my thoughts, calm down, and remember that I love Lyna.

Often times, I notice that Lyna is so frustrated, and I do not want to give into her tantrum ways, but sometimes just picking her up, placing her hands on my heart, or vice versa, I calmly talk to her and tell her "my heart is beating so fast because I'm worried about you."  I would continue to talk to her calmly about the situation that happened, and by talking to her about what had happened, gives me peace of mind that even though I gave into her tantrum we were able to talk through it, instead of brush it off and reward her for the behavior she expressed.

**Remember that your child feeds off of your energy, so when you are angry she is angry, when you are excited he is excited, when you are yelling he is yelling, when you are calm she is calm.  

Your child doesn't mean to make you angry, 

in fact your child wants to please you.  

"toddlers essentially live on attention from others, 

especially others who are important to them," (Gonzalez, p.37)        

Recognize your child's feelings

As I mentioned in other blog posts, recognizing your child's feeling, and helping your child to label their feeling is crucial.  Yes, your child is learning so many words, and developing so many aspects of their body and mind, so labeling your child's feelings and emotions will help your child distinguish what feeling is what, and what they should do when they begin to have that feeling.

**Refer to previous blogs for more information

Use gestures along with words

I know that when I am in a situation with my child, her voice is totally above of mine, she's screaming and kicking, and pushing, and shoving during her tantrum that listening to the words I am saying may not be in her interest, or her tantrum may block her listening view.

So using gestures is helpful, so that they can see what you are trying to tell them.

Children are capable of reading gestures, or at least understand that you are trying to tell them something through your motions.   

Using a softer voice is useful so that your child would soften their voice in order to hear what is being said.  

Sugest ways to manage emotions

With Lyna girl I suggest to her a breathing technique because sometimes when she cries I notice that she doesn't catch a breath between bursts of screaming.

I pretend I am holding a bouquet of flowers

and I tell her to smell the flowers 

I pretend with her as well to smell the flowers

  Then I change the flowers into a candle

I stick one or two fingers up and 

I ask her to blow the candle out

Sometimes I sing a line of Happy Birthday

Since she associates candles with the Birthday song. 

Often times I pretend with Lyna that there is a ball in her body

I tell her do you see the ball

I start from her toes

It's by your toes, its going up

I name all of her body parts as the ball is going up

Its going over your ankle, up past your calves

I will touch each body part pretending that there is a ball that I am chasing

The ball is up by your ear now

I go all the way up to her hair, or to which ever point your child persists 

Sometimes instead of a ball, I pretend with Lyna to build a bubble

I begin with pretending that I have soap in my hands

I will take a deep breath in and blow the soap to make a bubble

I will tell Lyna, do you see my bubble, watch it grow

I take another breath in and I blow on my bubble

I tell Lyna, look how big the bubble is now

Doing this I encourage her to follow what I am doing

When she begins to calm her self down, 

I would stop the blowing of the bubble and 

I would show Lyna how huge the bubble is.  

Like a mime, I would outline the huge bubble around me.

Sometimes the bubble gets so big that it covered my entire body. 

Help your child take a break

Sometimes Lyna just needs a break, and sometimes I just need a minute away from Lyna.  I put Lyna in our room, a safe quiet place, for Lyna to cry and compose herself.
Each time she comes out of the room to look for me, I ask her "Are you ready to be with me?"  She would answer yes, and I would pick her up and I would acknowledge her willingness to collect herself by saying "Thank you for being ready."

Sometimes when she is looking for me she is still whimpering or crying, which is okay, but I tell her "If you're ready to be with me please soften your crying because its too loud for my ears."    



Hopefully you can find this information helpful when dealing with your toddler's tantrum, just remember that at this age it is NORMAL.  

By Jadelynn Davis 

May 3, 2014

Lyna's Routines

I get asked by parents
How do you sleep at night?

What do you do to get your child do this, or do that during the day?

My baby wakes up throughout the night, and i'm so tiered, what do I do?

There are many answers, but a particular answer that I will emphasize is the importance of a CONSISTENT routine.

--A routine allows the child to predict what is expected from him/her
--Consistent routines gives children confidence because they can expect what is going to happen
--Routines allow children to be secured because they can depend and trust that things will happen when they are supposed to

children may not understand time [we eat at 8:30 then play at 9:30], but they can grasp sequences when they are consistent and dependable [playing will happen after I eat breakfast]     

An outline of what roughly goes on throughout our day

7:30 to 8:30 -- Lyna and I wake up.  

**Often times Lyna wakes up first, 

so I allow her to stay in the room and 

play with the toys and books in our room

8:30 to 9:30 -- we get ready for the day

**We take care of our body = Change Lyna's diaper, 

use the toilet, brush our teeth, put up our hair,

and get dressed.  

Often times I struggle with Lyna in caring for her body, 

so the main thing I at least do at this time is 

change her diaper and wash her hands so 

that she will be comfortable helping me with breakfast.  

9:15 to 10:15-- We make breakfast and eat

Simple breakfasts, like cereal, I allow Lyna to help me with. 

--> Lately I have been working with Lyna in making pancakes.

Because our stove top is smooth surfaces, Lyna has encountered

a moment where she touched the stove top when it was cooling, 

so I am allowing her to overcome her fears, and when she is ready, 

I will help her with cooking on the stove, but for now she helps me with 

the measuring, stirring, mixing, and so on. 

**Theorist, Abraham Maslow organized a hierarchy of need

-Google Search = Maslow

Now I mention Maslow because as I said, sometimes 

I struggle with Lyna, and in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, 

he theorized that in order for Lyna to focus on a task 

and perform it creatively and attentively, her physical needs 

need to be met first. 

So in this routine she has her sleep, 

but now she must be hungry because 

she hasn't eaten since the night before. 

  **So just remember that if your child is unwilling to cooperate 

with you and is giving you a rough time, try to meet his physical needs, 

and work your way up the hierarchy of needs until your child can function with self-confidence

-->It doesn't hurt to try.  

10:30 to 12:00 -- We play

When weather permits we would go to the beach

park, playground, walking around our neighborhood, 

take a trip to the grocery store [because its hot, and the store is cool]

When the weather is not so happy, we may take a car ride [if we have gas],

we would bake indoors, we would go to a library, we would

jump [i bought a mini trampoline about 36 inches in diameter off of 

Amazon for 30 dollars, it comes in handy when its raining outdoors and

your child needs to get his energy out], and depending on the weather I allow 

Lyna to go outside in the rain, to discover it.

12:00 to 1:00 -- We care for our body and eat lunch

We change diaper, use the toilet, and wash our hands.

Most likely I would warm up left overs from the night before because giving Lyna

the same food would help her become familiar with it.  

**Also I try to care for Lyna's teeth after every meal

to practice good hygiene.  Also because her hygienist 

 and doctor suggested I do so, so that her teeth is healthy and strong

1:00 to 3:00 -- We relax, and take a nap

Majority of the time, Lyna is tiered and will go to sleep.

Often times she is not, so I allow her to play in our bedroom with her 

puzzles, toys, and books [quiet games], and I would do homework until

she is ready to rest.  Her naps range from 1 to 2 hours, but I add in 

that quiet play time to be flexible. 

3:00 to 4:30 -- We wake up, and have a snack

Waking up takes time, Lyna likes to lounge around when she wakes up, 

so I give her time to.

As I mentioned physical needs must be met, so after I 

care for Lyna's body by changing her diaper and washing hands

I would offer her a snack.  

4:30 to 6:00 -- I will cook and Lyna will play

By this time family should be coming home, so they 

like to spend time with Lyna.

But sometimes I am alone, I need to cook, and so I allow Lyna to play

as I cook, so as I said I have a trampoline

that I allow Lyna to play on, I also have a tunnel [also bought 

from Amazon for about $15] that I allow Lyna to play with, I also have duplos

and a tea set for Lyna [Ross is cheap for children's toys compared to Walmart, in my opinion].

6:00 to 8:00 -- We eat dinner and take care of our body

Before dinner we change diaper and wash hands

We eat dinner 

Then we would shower.

**often times not in that order, but those are the 

things we do at this time.  

8:00 to 10:00 -- Free time:  we play and we relax

Sometimes we go for a walk, other times we relax and do 

our own things, and often times we would play games

and talk story with the company in our home, and sometimes we bake 

or the opposite we clean. 

We fold our laundry, we put away toys from the day,

we wash the dishes [all which are things that I include Lyna with]

9:00 to 11:00 -- We prepare to sleep for the night

We get things we need ready for the next day

and we get ready to sleep, by reading bedtime stories, 

and listen to music, sometimes we sing.

[I try to stay away from the television during the time 

we are trying to sleep because I have read studies that show

your mind and parts of your body is still awake, therefore sleeping

is hard to accomplish]

TELEVISION = Hard to sleep.  

Some things to remember 

Involve infants and toddlers in things that concern them.  Don't work around them or distract them to get the job done faster.

Communicate and interact with your child during times you care for your child's body is a one to one time with your child, so take that time to bond with one another and communicate about what is happening, and maybe what will happen after.  

Dont be afraid of messes, allow your child to make a mess and do things on their own, it promotes self-help skills skills that allow your child to do things on his own.

  -- Gonzalez-Mena, Janet & Eyer, Dianne Wildmeyer.  Infant, Toddler, and Caregivers: A curriculum of respectful, responsive, relationship-based care and education.  Mc-Graw Hill, New York, NY, 2012.  

By:  Jadelynn Davis

May 3, 2012