Talk the talk

Communication is HARD!!!!

When I cared for my daughter as a baby, the cues for telling me what she needed was through crying.  I checked 4 things --> Her diaper

                                 If she wanted to be held

                                 I fed her

                                 And when those 3 were eliminated I knew that she was ready to just play.  

As a baby my daughter didn't have the words to communicate back to me, which at times frustrated me, but I was her teacher at the time -->  I had to fill her mind with words and communication tools --> gestures, moving, pointing, words, and so on.


But as a toddler, the teaching dynamics changed.  Now she can communicate verbally.  This now changes everything.  There are things now that she controls in the teaching.

I now have to decipher words

There are certain words that are said out of context, that Lyna doesn't mean to say

Some words she babbles

At times she just doesn't want to talk

Then there are those times that she just wouldn't stop talking

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Due to this change in teaching, I have looked up on the Zero to Three website and found an article about toddler communication.  I hope this helps you with the communication between you and your 

TODDLE TALKING MACHINE

Toddler communication

Babies communicate from birth, through sounds (crying, cooing, squealing), facial expressions (eye contact, smiling, grimacing) and gestures/body movements (moving legs in excitement or distress, and later, gestures like pointing.) Babies continue to develop communication skills when adults respond to their efforts to “tell” others about what they need or want.  

Children’s communication skills grow by leaps and bounds across the first few years of life:

A newborn nuzzles at her mother’s breast.  Her mother says, “Oh, you must be hungry.  Here you go.”  This baby is learning that her loved ones will respond to her signals and communications.  

A 9-month-old starts messing with the food on his high chair, as if wiping it clean with his hands.  His father notices, saying:  “Hey buddy, looks like you’re telling me you are all done.  How about I take you out of there and we can head to the park.”  This baby is learning that he is an effective communicator.  

A 28-month-old is at the park.  She is pointing urgently at something and saying to her grandfather, “Derl!  Derl!  Derl!”  He says, “I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t understand.  Could you say it again?”   She continues to point, and repeats herself a number of times.  Finally, her grandfather says, “Oh, the squirrel.  Yes, I see him up there in the tree!”  This toddler is learning that her loved ones will “hang in there” and work hard to understand her attempts to communicate.  

A 3-year-old chats with his mother on the way home from preschool.  He tells her he liked the songs and snack, but didn’t like how the sand felt on his hands.  His mother listens, and asks him questions.  This toddler is learning that what he has to say is important to the people who love him, and that he is a good communicator.  

Following are some ideas for supporting the development of communication skills in your baby or toddler:

Respond to your baby’s gestures, looks and sounds.  

Respond POSITIVELY

Positive responses are the best responses you can give to a child.

The responses doesn't have to be the right answer and it doesn't have to be the wrong answer, it just needs to be given in a positive way.

Talk with and listen to your child. 

Children love and want ATTENTION.  I know it's hard in an always working world that sometimes you cant find the time to give your child attention or stop what you're doing, but it's a good thing to just put everything down, sit down for a moment, and listen to your child, talk with your child.  He/She would share with you all that He/She knows and you will be amazed.

Help children build on their language skills. 

Teach your child about non-verbal communication.

I save this website on my cell phone as an app on the home screen.
http://www.signingsavvy.com

When I work with children, especially infants and toddlers I would sign with them simple phrases.
Help                     Eat                     Done                    Change                    Wash hands

Personally, I have learned that infants and toddlers catch on to signing because it requires them using their body to communicate rather then their verbal language.  Since they are still developing their teeth and muscles that is used to speak, signing is an alternative that will help communicate their needs and wants.

Respect and recognize your child’s feelings. 

Children are far more likely to share their ideas and feelings if they know they won’t be judged, teased, or criticized.

Listen, Listen, Listen.  Sometimes I tell, tell, tell, and tell even more to Lyna what she needs to do, rather then listen to her wants and needs.

I tell her its time to eat

I tell her its time to bath

I tell her its time to change your diaper

I tell her its time to change your clothes

I tell her its time to wash your hands

I tell her its time to go to the store

All of these requests that I am telling her are all in a row, that sometimes I don't listen to her ideas or responses.  Sometimes I just want to get things done so that I can sit down and relax.  But for a child to go through this will cause him/her stress, frustration, and anger.  I've been through it, I argued with my daughter everyday we got home from school because she didn't want to bath right that moment, she didn't want to eat right that moment, all she wanted to do was go to Primo our dog and play with him. 

--It's not the easiest way to go through the day, but its the less stressful for me.  Listen to my daughter, respect what she wants and how she feels, let her do what she needs to do for a few minutes, and then we can get on with the things we need to get done.  Its way less stressful to let her go for a few minutes then to fight and argue with her for an hour.     

Help your child develop a "feelings" vocabulary. 

To help my child develop "feelings" vocabulary I use books to help me.

"The Feelings Book" by Todd Parr

"ABC Look at Me" by Roberta Intrater

"Pete The Cat: I Love My White Shoes" by James Dean

"My Friend is Sad" By Mo Willems

Then I would use Lyna's stuff animals and pretend to act out the examples from the books.
I would also talk about the feelings when Lyna displays them throughout the day.

For Example:

--"It looks like your frustrated"  if she was trying to figure out a toy and all of a sudden she starts to cry. 

--"Mommy is worried" if I saw Lyna climbing on the table without any supervision.  I would add "I'm afraid you're going to fall."   

Read together. 

As I mentioned I read books for Lyna to put her feelings into words.  But I also read to her so that she can gain knowledge-- I mean that's why we read.

**A "trick" when reading with your toddlers, that I do, is NOT READ THE WORDS.  Sometimes there are stories that are so wordy and so long that children may loose interest.  So instead of reading the words I choose to read the pictures.  Sometimes I ask the children "What does the picture say?"  or "What is happening in the picture," this way your child can feel included and interested in the story, and at the same time gain knowledge of the story as well as begin to read.

Narrate what you do as you go through your daily routines.  

I let my daughter know what to expect through out the day.  If there is a big event such as going to costco, or going to a movie, or going shopping, or going to a birthday party, or so on, I would let her know the day before.  I would talk to her about what we are going to do, what we have to buy, what we are going to watch, whose birthday were celebrating, and so on.

I always give Lyna a heads up.  I tell her in advance that "We need to go to the store soon," or "I notice your wet.  I'm going to change your diaper."

**Even though she may not know the concept of time, I tell her "You have 5 more minutes to play," "you have 2 more minutes to play," "we're going to clean up now so last time rolling your car down the ramp."  By doing this she will have an idea that I can play a few more times and then I am going to have to get ready for something else.      

Encourage pretend play. 

 

I choose to use real life objects for my daughter to pretend with.

1. Its cheap and convenient 
2. I trust her using real objects

Since I pretend play with these objects, and I show Lyna how to play with them, then that's how I know that she will use the real objects in a playful manner rather then a destructive manner.  

--I wouldn't just give her an object and expect her to use it without breaking it.  I would demonstrate to her how to use it and then I would let her use it on her own.   

Make your requests clear, simple, and appropriate for your child’s age and ability. 

For a one-year-old, you can give one step directions like, "Go get the ball." 

For an 18-month-old, you can give two-step commands like, "Please go to your room and get your shoes." 

Be sure you have your child’s attention first, by calling his name or gently touching him and looking directly at him at his eye level. 

You can ask an older child to repeat the request to make sure he heard and understood the communication. 

Be a good role model. 

Expose your child to new things

Talk to your child

Talk with your child

Explain things to your child

Give your child time

Read to your child

Use vocabulary that you want your child to use

Expand your child's language

Build your child's vocabulary

Expose your child to new languages

Allow your child to pretend

Allow your child to read

Allow your child to go outside and seek new ideas

Feed your child new words

Your child is as smart as you let her to be

Dont take away from your child

Your child deserves the world.

ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families.  1255 23rd Street, NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC; 2012.  http://www.zerotothree.org/early-care-education/early-language-literacy/communication-skills.html

Created By: Jadelynn Davis

April  22, 2014